Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
