Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
