So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize