I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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