Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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