i was rollin on her like bob the builder
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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