I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
