between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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