he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Randomize
