Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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