She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
