i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
