big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
