You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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