i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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