i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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