Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
the liver wants what the liver wants
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
