And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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