i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
