How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
