it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
