can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
