well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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