Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
