it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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