You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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