So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
