All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
