Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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