Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize