She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize