fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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