as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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