Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
