We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just gargled with NyQuil
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
