Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
