i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
