she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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