did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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