...so i touched it.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
