You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Randomize
