all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
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