before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
