Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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