if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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