K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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