i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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