Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
