I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Drunk is not a location!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
