my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
