I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
