Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
