He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
