Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
