My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
