problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
