News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Terrible idea I love it
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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