My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
