She is in my trunk
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
