Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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